Monday, May 01, 2006

IN THE PARK - 500 word flash fiction

What could be better than a sunny, summer afternoon in New York's Central Park? Well, what about being there with someone special doing something special? This is a 500 word piece of flash fiction based on a chapter from my first novel, "A Brief Affair." Any feedback, including caustic comments and snide suggestions, about the writing, content, characters, etc. will be appreciated.

Bayou Bill

==
Italic
In The Park
by Bill Fullerton


From her perch on top of Mark Cahill's thick chest, Gwen Kaplan smiled down at his pleased expression. "So tell me, Mr. Cahill, are you glad you came, now?"

"This is nice, very nice,” he said, his fingertips tracing her silhouette. “Not every beat-up vet gets to lay in a park on a sunny day with a pretty student nurse sitting on top of him."

"Just doing my patriotic bit." She laughed, feeling flushed and pleased. "But thanks for the compliment."

"Well, I'm still not sure what you're doing here with me on the day your engagement is being announced. But believe me, patriotism or whatever, I'm glad you are."

He gave her a big wink. "However, to answer your original question, I suppose that everything considered, I'd rather be here than back in the VA listening to a baseball game."

The mention of her motives troubled Gwen. Just why had she brought him to the park? More important, why was she letting him get away with what they were doing, especially on this particular day?

The first part had a simple answer. When Johnny’s boss changed his work schedule last week it left her with nothing to do today. So she decided getting Mark out of the VA would do him good. He’d resisted the idea at first, but she’d finally convinced him.

Of course, driving into Manhattan from Queens to take a lonely patient for a stroll in Central Park is one thing. Making-out with him was something else. That had most definitely not been part of her plan. Somehow, it just sort of happened.

Still, Gwen was glad she’d convinced him to come and glad they were in the park. And to her surprise, maybe even a bit glad about what they were now doing. But she wasn’t sure why.

She’d dated Johnny for years, never even thought about anyone else, and wanted to marry him. But Mark was a nice guy, alone and a long way from home, and she liked him. So if a little making-out helped ease his loneliness, what was the harm?

Rationalization complete, inspiration struck.

"So you're not sure you wouldn't rather be listening to a ball game, huh!" she demanded, while swooping down upon Mark's neck.

He laughed and pushed her away. "Control yourself, woman. There may be callow youths nearby."

With a yell of, "Let them find their own neck!" she brushed Mark’s hands away and dove back toward his throat. It was her firm intention to put a highly visible hickey on Mark's neck. It would be fun watching how her co-workers on the ward reacted to that tomorrow.

He laughed and tried to stop her as they rolled around, becoming entangled in the blanket.

They stopped with Mark once again on his back. Gwen lay next to him, still sucking on his neck. He let out a low groan and pulled her closer. This would be, she thought with unconscious prophecy, a hickey for the ages.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous randysTexasAngel aka Becky said...

Wow Bill, it just keps getting better as the story goes. And although I hate waiting to get to the end of the story, the intrigue will keep me coming back till the last word is written.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

I like how you're complicating things by throwing Johnny back in. Having Gwen fool around with Mark on the day her engagement is announced is great.

Part of me wants to meet Johnny. As of right now, he's more a concept -- I'm sorta craving a short scene with him in it, just to see how he and Gwen work together. I know that he isn't exactly the focus right now, but something like that might add a bit of dangerous realism to the story. (Of course, a scene with Johnny may well be coming up, I have no idea... just giving you what I'm thinking at the moment...)

I agree with the first comment -- just gets better and better...

3:57 PM  

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